Let’s Talk- Heart To Heart: Conscious Relationships

Part 2 Bridging the Empathy Gap with Nadine Helm

In part 2 of Bridging the Empathy Gap, I speak with Nadine Helm, another trainer in Nonviolent Communication / aka Compassionate + Authentic Relating. 

Where we dive a few layers deeper into the conflict that is unfolding in the middle east, in our own hearts, in our close relationships and beyond..

Together we explore the complexity of grieving whilst caring for the impact of actions that are being taken.

We look at examples of hope and people in the community that support us to move towards a more compassionate voice together. 

Nadine Helm - EmpathyCoach
 embracing-life.com

Emma Buggy - Relationship Coach

https://www.empathart.com/

 

References made in the podcast:

1) "Such raw times call us to walk softly, to speak firmly yet with compassion, and not fall into simplistic black and white narratives. They call us to look deeply at our own bias and more than ever not to lose sight of our shared humanity. We can stand against violence while seeking understanding. We can grieve the loss of innocent life in Israel and in Gaza.  We can oppose antisemitism and islamophobia, denounce terrorist attacks and collective punishment." 

From E-mail by SAND (Science and Nonduality), Oct 30th 2023, "Roots Run Deep: Collective & Individual Trauma in Times of Crisis"

2) Jeff Foster How to open your heart

Do not try to open your heart now. That would be a subtle movement of aggression towards your immediate embodied experience. Never tell a closed heart it must be more open; it will shut more tightly to protect itself, feeling your resistance. A heart unfurls only when conditions are right; your demand for openness invites closure. This is the supreme intelligence of the heart.

Instead, bow to the heart in its current state. If it's closed, let it be closed; sanctify the closure. Make it safe; safe even to feel unsafe. Trust that when the heart is ready, and not a moment before, it will open, like a flower in the warmth of the sun. There is no rush for the heart.

Trust the opening and the closing too; the expansion and the contraction; this is the heart's way of breathing; safe, unsafe, safe, unsafe; the beautiful fragility of being human; and all held in the most perfect love. Jeff Foster 

 

3) Thich Nhat Hanh: The way out is in.

4) Martin Luther King

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

“I have to say to you. I have decided to stick to love. I know that love is ultimately the only answer to the problems of humanity. I say to myself that hate is too great a burden to bear. I have decided to love. If you are seeking the highest good, I think you can find it through love.” 

References I made:

- Unicef executive director Catherine Russell briefed UN security council on humanitarian situation in Gaza warming Israel’s assault is killing or injuring more than 420 children in Gaza every day.

- In Gaza, a child is killed every 10-15 minutes.

Over 3000 children killed, more than 2000 missing – total 5300 children killed

8500 people mostly women and children killed over the past 26 days

– Dr. Mads Gilbert in an Interview with Democracy Now:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTxzW0Pai7c&t=5s

- Noy Katsman, brother of Hayim – killed by Hamas – not in my name (peace activist)

"I want us to support the people who call for calming down and for peace, and for saving lives, not the people who call for more hate and more violence, that’s my request to everyone and I know that’s exactly what my brother would want to do," said Noy.

Michal Halev: https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/novengeanceinmyname

Arab families hiding jewish citizens:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1929_Hebron_massacre

From Frustration to Fulfilment: Embracing Your Need for True Connection

Do you ever find yourself in relationships where it feels like you're the one seeking connection and closeness? The frustration of not having your needs met can be overwhelming, confusing and hurtful at times, maybe leaving you feeling alone in your relationships, or even perhaps thinking that there is something wrong with either you or your partner? In this episode, we delve deep into the heart of this universal longing for connection. We'll explore what true connection means, why it's so essential for us humans to survive, and how understanding your own relationship with your need for connection can transform your partnerships and friendships into a more joyful and abundant place to be. Join us on this journey from frustration to fulfilment, as we embrace the power of connection and discover how it can enrich our lives and the bonds we share with others.

 

INSTAGRAM: @empathart.emma

NEXT COURSE STARTS NOVEMBER 13th 2023

Compassionate + Authentic Relating: https://www.empathart.com/events

Bridging the Empathy Gap: Hearing Your Heart Message in Polarized Times.

In this episode of “Lets Talk Heart to Heart” With Emma Buggy. We delve deep into the heart of the separation between people in today's world, facing the overwhelming emotions of anger, frustration, and hopelessness as we witness growing global disconnection. From the heart-wrenching events in places like Israel and Palestine to the everyday disagreements in our own close relationships, we're confronted by a widening empathy gap. What if the journey to bridging that gap starts with listening to just one voice, one story of pain and hurt, at a time? 

 

Join us as we reflect on the transformative power of listening, the profound healing in being heard, and the importance of each individual's story. Amidst the vast chasm of misunderstanding, find hope in the belief that hearing each other and listening to the essence of our own messages of care, can play a part in turning the dream of global unity into a tangible reality.

Download Feelings + Needs List: https://www.empathart.com/rescources

Upcoming Courses in Compassionate + Authentic Relating: https://www.empathart.com/events

 

The power of transforming guilt into presence and compassion

Today's episode is a deep exploration into the wonderfully uncomfortable world of feeling guilty with my dear friend a fellow NVC trainer Tanja Walliser.

We explore what happens when we say "sorry" from a place of guilt instead of presence.

We look at the actions we take when we fee guilty and believe we "Should" be behaving differently, only to realise that we pay a heavy price later on in the relationship.

This is a juicy episode where we speak about vulnerable moments from our own lives and discuss alternative systems of justice which replace punishment with compassion and reconciliation. 

 

We had a technical issue with the audio in some parts of the episode, yet we both enjoyed our discussion so much that we made an effort to edit it so that it's still listenable. We hope that you will persevere and take in all that this episode has to offer. 

 

If you have enjoyed today's episode and would like to connect with Tanja or myself you can find Tanja at:

https://empathiestadt.ch/

 

And Me / Emma:

https://www.empathart.com/

Mindful Communication - How Mindfulness and NVC support self awareness

With a heart warming cuppa coconut cacao in our hands,  my dear friend and Mindfulness Coach Andy Hix and I get  chatting on the sofa, about how deeply connected these 2 approaches to self awareness really are. 

We explore how both mindfulness and NVC guide us inwards and invite us to look at what our minds are doing , how our bodies are reacting and what our souls are really yearning for. 

And we give some examples from our own friendship, where we have used mindfulness and NVC in order to connect from the heart and not from the stories we so easily could have told ourselves...

Andy Hix:

is a Mindfulness Coach who helps people to transform from feeling stressed, anxious and overwhelmed to feeling relaxed, positive and empowered. You can contact him for a free one hour taster session at andy@andyhix.com.

Emma Buggy:

Is a Relationship Coach who supports couples to reconnect & understand each other in difficult moments. 
She also helps individuals  to uncover and transform their limiting beliefs around relationships and learn to communicate with authenticity and compassion towards themseleves and others, creating more security  confidence in their relationships.

Book a free discovery call with Emma at: www.empathart.com

Discover the beautiful message of life force energy, behind every self judgment!

Self judgments are so ingrained in our culture and language, that you may be speaking to yourself with criticism, blame and expectations without even noticing it! 

I was listening to a podcast just last week, by 2 psychotherapists who work with couples, and I heard one of them say many times "I'm so stupid... I'm such an idiot.. why can't I remember...". The tone of his voice did not suggest that he was joking or mocking himself either. I felt a sadness in me as I heard him speak, because I really long to live in a world where compassion is our mother tongue. 

I give this example because I truly believe that even after years of self development, trauma healing and therapy, we may often not realise just how harshly we speak towards ourselves. We may perpetuate this language of inner violence out of habit, even if we do not mean the words that we say, the language that we use holds power and can effect the integrity with which we engage with ourselves and others in relationships.

 

This language of self judgment can be so sneaky, that we simply say "I should have.. / I should.. / why didn't I..." a perhaps more subtle violence towards ourselves as we attempt to navigate relationships with integrity, care, honesty, respect and authenticity towards ourselves and others. 

 

In this episode I speak about where this language comes from, and what you can do to unravel the spiky and hurtful words you speak towards yourself, and translate them into the beautiful messages of encouragement, and wishes to support you in living a full and more wonderful life. 

To learn more about how to embody these skills in your life, visit:  www.empathart.com

And follow me on Instagram for regular relationship and communication tips!: 

https://www.instagram.com/empathart.emma/

 

Relaxing in relationships: moving through anxiety, stress, worry + shame

Feeling the harmonious relief of being relaxed, calm, and at ease in your relationships is the big dream right?

So it is no surprise that you want the anxiety and worries that you may experience right now, to go away, so that you can focus on feeling connected to life?

Or perhaps you are single and you want to enjoy life rather than worrying about a future partner or the person you are currently dating..

The thought patterns that we get ourselves into, are the stimulus for our uncomfortable emotions and what makes them stick around and stay for so long is that we often resist them. We want to feel better and for the discomfort to go away (quite naturally). We do not see their intelligence, their message and their reason for persisting.

 

In this episode I talk about the state of welcoming, being with and noticing feelings of resistance, stress and anxiety and explain the process of allowing emotions to move through you and naturally change when you no longer resist them.

 

Please practice self care when exploring this technique, and always ask yourself, does this level of discomfort feel safe to explore alone? OR do I need emotional support to help me regulate and feel safe?

 

IF you want to learn more about how to connect with yourself, feel you emotions and be empowered to ask for what you need in relations let's jump on a discovery call and see if we a re a good fit to work with one another.

 

www.empathart.com 

Interdependent Relationships: Caring for both of your needs together

We all want that recipe for a long lasting relationship where we feel secure, confident and able to approach each other about the hard stuff right? It seems like a dream, and yet it is possible to attain this kind of connection with someone, especially when we learn to become aware of our patterns with compassion, so that we can begin to make choices that support us to move towards connection in a healthy way. 

 

In this podcast episode I talk about the art of moving towards “interdependence” in relationships, whilst bringing compassion and understanding to our codependent tendencies and tactics for self protection and holding on to love.

 

For more info : www.empathart.com

 

People Pleasing- feeling into the body to find and express a ”No”

"People pleasing" is a term or a label we can assign to ourselves and others in order to describe those moments when we (or I) loose our sense of "self" and focus on the needs of others in order to stay connected, to make sure that we are loved, accepted and worthy in relationships. 

 

This ultimately leads to a build up of resentment and frustration on both sides of the people pleasing coin. 

 

In this episode I share some of learning curves and painful moments of break through and distraction in working and social relationships because of my own tendency to loose myself and forget or not even see my own needs.

 

I end with a simple invitation and practice which has helped me immensely, to slow down and self connect when making decisions from a more centered space, where I welcome the awareness of my self, my needs and how to bring that into relationship with others. 

And check out my website, If you are curious to know more about Nonviolent communication, as mentioned in this podcast, or you are interested in the work that I do to support people to connect with authenticity, compassion and honesty in their relationships to themselves and others:

www.empathart.com 

Dating, flirting and interacting with anxiety & my journey towards abundance, security + self love

In this episode I share with you, my personal journey through anxious and insecure interactions when flirting, dating and building new relationships and how building an awareness of my patterns, belief systems and behaviors has supported me to feel more secure, abundant and so deeply connected to myself now.

If you struggle with anxiety and insecurities in your relationships then I can imagine you will relate with me on this one! 

Feeling abundant, secure and connected to myself did not come easily..

And I never want to "change" or disregard my feelings of anxiety.. because now I see those vulnerable moments as a gift..

A chance to love me fully..

👉If you would love to learn how to feel this way to - DM me for a FREE discovery call together ❤️

Or check out my website for upcoming courses www.empathart.com
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