Let’s Talk- Heart To Heart: Conscious Relationships

Grief & Love & Healing the hurt between us

In this episode I share with you my personal experiences and celebrations around using NVC processes to have difficult conversations that transform the pain and disconnection between people. 

I want to celebrate the beauty that comes from seeing and staying with the feeling of LOVE that ignites the feeling of GREIF and how this has really helped me to be with the grief that I have been feeling regularly over the past year.

I share my personal story around finding such sweetness and accompaniment through past traumas and pains with my ex-husband and how slowing down and taking time to self connect has really helped me in becoming more available for my loved ones as I learn to walk the path of compassion in my relationships. 

With a huge amount of appreciation to the continued journey towards embodiment that I have experienced through studying with my teacher Yoram Mosenzon and to Marshal Rosenberg who created this language of Nonviolent communication. 

For more informations about NVC please visit my website: www.empathart.com

The power of my bodies intelligence and making simple requests

Today's Episode is all about the power of being with all that my body asks for,.. especially when she is bleeding.. my body has been teaching me over the last week, that she holds a deep intelligence and wisdom which seems to pull me inwards more keenly at this time of the month, especially when i try and ignore her call for attention. 

I have been harbouring and holding onto "patriarchal" stories and beliefs that I should "woman up" at these times of the month - "half of the planet bleeds girl - get over it and get back to work... its not that bad.. you have no choice.. you will be seen as a crazy feminist.. or over the top.. or too much or asking for attention". uuuurrrggghh I am exhausted as I write these thoughts down, knowing that they come from a deep longing for acceptance, consideration, care and community support...  I want  change and my dream would be to live in a world where women could take 1-3 days off each month to connect with the wisdom of the red tent within themselves. 

And with the simplicity of making a small but meaningful request (aided by the empathy and suggestion of my friend Sonja) I celebrate that through tiny steps and making small requests of ourselves and those around us,  big changes will happen

 

Being With The Intensity of Pain

(Warning: this episode includes explicit language)

Today's show is another unedited Bonus episode on self love and self connection, whilst feeling the intensity and overwhelm of difficult emotions as they come up.

 

                                "I want to relish in the beauty and joy of

                                 feeling my "inner scream", my pain, my greif.."

 

This pandemic really has bought all the shit to the surface.. and just like many of you out there who are going through huge life changes rite now, I too have become overwhelmed with grief and pain this year.

And so I have begun to build my own inner and outer support system so that I can be with these emotions as they can come up, rather than pushing them down, distracting myself or moving into blame, which are all tempting strategies to "make the pain go away" 

Today I speak to you  from the heart again and share with you in the moment how intensity lives within me whilst I connect with my pain and accompany myself through the experience with care.

Let's Be Honest - Self Expression

Today's Episode is a special unedited episode of me expressing my honesty and sharing why honest self expression is so important to me and how it helps me to bring compassion towards myself.

 

I will share a little about my own inner world rite now in this moment as I sit by the river in Anjers - France. I talk you through my thoughts, body sensations and connect with what is alive in me in each moment so that you can see the process I go through of noticing and observing my thoughts.

 

I hope that by sharing my honesty with you, you will give you the chance to see into the mind of another person without needing X-ray vision. I often find it so refreshing when someone opens up their heart to me and tells me what is really happening for them rather than what they believe that I would like them to tell me is true.

 

As ever I am very open and excited to hear from you as it brings me connection with my listeners, so please go ahead and share your heart reactions, judgments, thoughts, questions or anything else you would like me to know.

 

IF you would like to read more about the work that I do with compassionate Communication, please visit my website at www.empathart.com,

 

You can also sign up for a free trial active listening session with me where I will listen to you with compassion and curiosity for what is happening in your life rite now. 

 

 

Silent Listening - Where Empathy Flows

Empathy flows from that moment when we make a choice, we chose to stop, connect and listen to the heart of the other person. 

Today's Episode is our 9th episode in our series on introducing and exploring compassionate communication and it is all about how to start listening with empathy by simply doing nothing - isn't that a relief? It's an invitation to sit back relax, listen and start noticing yourself, your own thoughts, noticing the other person and their body language.

Christina and I talk about our own experiences with silent listening as a base, as a place we both come back to when we are not sure, when we want to return to our center when we want to understand the other person without having to say or do something. 

We also touch upon those painful moments when we have tried to listen to someone without really having the space to do so, when we are in pain ourselves, and how this can create a tennis game of triggers meeting triggers between two people who both need empathy in order to be able to truly meet each other and listen with presence and curiosity rather than self defense and anger.

Links:

For more info about Compassionate Communication (or Nonviolent communication / NVC) please visit my website:

www.empathart.com

For a free trial empathy session with me, where I will listen to you deeply and we will work together to find out what your heart is longing for rite now visit:

https://www.empathart.com/connect

For Feelings and Needs Lists:

https://www.connecting2life.net/feelings-and-needs-lists/

Marry Mckenzie (Trainer who uses the WAIT acronym)

https://nvctraining.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&task=user&id=90:marymackenzie

 

Lead me into understanding you - Empathy with Christina

In today's episode Christina and I will talk about the differences between listening from an empathic space and listening from an active role of wanting to change or do something for the person we are listening to. This is episode 8 in our series on "Introducing and Exploring compassionate communication" or Nonviolent communication (NVC for short) as it is also called. Today is the 2nd part of this series as we dive into the vast and vulnerable well that is empathy, that is listening, to you, to myself to each other. So today is part 1 on the topic of empathy.

As we hear a little from Christina about why Empathy is so meaningful for her, and how it has "saved her life" we begin to see the real beauty that comes from truly being listened to in this way. Christina and I offer some examples of how we often respond to our friends and loved ones when they begin to open up to us, and we look at how these different responses can be both useful and distracting from the focus on the other person. That is not to say we are doing anything wrong or that we want to stop responding in these ways such as giving advice or reassurance, yet if we have the power to notice ourselves, then we can choose, we can offer choice to our friends as they speak with us, and this can really lay the grounds for safety, consideration and care in our relationships. 

Links

My website : www.empathart.com

www.empathart.com/pocast - for donations :) 

Facebook practice group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/708106093040541

Feelings and Needs lists: https://www.connecting2life.net/feelings-and-needs-lists/

 

Why do we want what we want? The Beauty in our Needs

What does rest, mean to me, why do I want respect or care in my life? Why is belonging and creativity so important to me? What does these words actually mean to me? The language of needs is here to help us sink in to what we want and feel the energy that is linked with the word we use to describe it. When we use abstract needs as a way of talking about our longings and desires in life, we get closer to our core, to our hearts desire.. to our life project (as Yoram Mosenzon often says). 

Today's episode is number 6 in our series on "Introducing and Exploring Compassionate Communication". In this episode I explain and demonstrate the process of peeling away the layers of our wants and desires, getting to the core of true longings to find and stay with the pure energy of our most precious needs. 

In doing this we can get closer to understanding ourselves, to knowing what it is that we want in life, to having more creativity, flow and agency in getting our own needs met, and for myself this has really empowered me, enabling me to act from a place of knowing myself. 

I will then finish off with an action step for you to try at home, I suggest downloading the feelings and needs list bellow so that you can do this activity with ease and anchor your learning.

For more information about the work that I do with NVC or to see how you can work with me 121 in getting to know and explore your inner world check my website: www.empathart.com

Feelings and Needs lists: https://www.connecting2life.net/feelings-and-needs-lists/

Yoram Mosenzon: https://www.connecting2life.net/

Creativity in getting your needs met

When we want something to happen or change in our relationships we can sometimes get stuck on the "how" rather than the "why" , in this episode we will look into the why we want something and we start to get creative around how we can get those needs met

Today's episode is number 6 in our series on "Introducing and Exploring Compassionate Communication". I have chosen to go solo and get vulnerable with you as I start to share my understanding of how being in touch with my needs can really bring me closer to how I want to live in the world and be in relationship with myself and others. Through knowing my needs I can also invite myself to get creative around how I can get those needs met without getting stuck on one particular strategy.

We will explore the differences between our needs and the strategies we use to meet them by presenting some concepts and my own understanding of idea’s which have inspired me whilst assisting NVC trainer Oriane Boyer on her online beginners course.

I will then finish off with an action step for you to try at home, I suggest downloading the feelings and needs list bellow so that you can do this activity with ease and anchor your learning.

For more information about the work that I do with NVC or to see how you can work with me 121 in getting to know and explore your inner world check my website: www.empathart.com

 

Links:

Orian Boyer:  https://orianeboyer.com/en/home-2/ 

Connecting to Life: https://www.connecting2life.net/

Feelings and needs lists: https://www.connecting2life.net/feelings-and-needs-lists/

Exploring Our Inner Emotional World With Tracy Seed

On today's show in our series on "Exploring and Introducing Compasssionate Communication", we have Tracy seed. A certified NVC trainer (trained by Marshal Rosenberg himself), and coach working in human development, using movement and embodiment practices, and NLP in her work with individuals and organisations 

Together we talk about our inner world of emotions. We unwrap and discover how we can learn to recognise and understand our emotional responses and how or why we get triggered with the aim of integrating and making sense of our emotions, through developing our emotional radar and intelect with a descriptive vocabulary of physical and emotive sensations to aid us. 

Tracy then talks us through and demonstartates the difference between those emotions that we have when we say I feel.. and the thoughts that we have when we say I feel.....Sometimes getting our thoughts and our feelings mixed up which can distract us from what is really happening internally rather than what we perceive to be happening externaly.  

We finish our talk with a small activity you can try at home to help you distinguish between your thoughts that pretend to be feelings and actual feelings you are experiencing. So have a paper and pen handy at the end! 

To learn more about Tracy and her workshops visit her website: 

https://tracyseed.com/

For more information about my work, working with me 121 or to learn more about Compassionate / Nonviolent Communication visit my website www.empathart.com 

 

Mindfulness - & observing our thoughts & bodies

Today’s show is the 4^th episode in our series on “Exploring and Introducing Compassion” into our lives and we are going to be speaking with my dear friend Elaine Rose Leela who is a mindfulness practitioner and trainer currently doing her PHD in transpersonal integral psychology

Elaine and I will be looking at the first step in the 4 step process of nonviolent communication which is Observation, with the intention of inviting ourselves into a state of mindfulness as we begin to observe ourselves and others.  Last week we spoke about setting and checking our intentions behind our words and actions and we also looked at the kinds of language that can potentially block connection and a chance for communication to happen compassionately, so we will be showing you how to start observing those Jackal thoughts of judgment and blame and noticing the stimulus that we are reacting to rather than blaming the action or the words which we are reacting to.

At the end of the show Elaine will guide us through a mindfulness meditation to help us start bringing our awareness to our breath and to the sensations we feel in our bodies.

You can get in contact with Elaine and learn more about her and the work that she does by visiting her website: http://www.mindfulmenstrualcycle.com/

 

Show Links:

For my website and more info about NVC: www.empathart.com

For Elain’s Website: http://www.mindfulmenstrualcycle.com/

For more info about mindfulness: Book by Jon, Kabat Zinn “Coming To Our Senses: Healing Ourselves and the World Through Mindfulness”

Jack Saturday: “sound effects meat” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlgZLrVlprM